First Draft Pass Complete

chapeditsExcised several scenes to tighten my plot but I feel like I’ve sacrificed a bit of characterization in the process. Renamed the book because there’s a movie coming out about the Holodomor in the Ukraine and I don’t want the association. The new title is Tactical Pursuits.

Jogging through the second-draft pass and I can’t shake the feeling that the chapters don’t fit. I know that I’m telling two different stories in this novel – Eppis adjusting her life in preparation of ascension, and Ilo dying as motivation for Velto and Sofita to put aside their differences and work toward ascension. The subplot (at this point I should say, microplot) involves the Slavic Empire and that’s grounded in the Velto/Sofita portion of the book. Eppis/Ilo are connected by their brief complicity in the past, a partnership that afforded them the lives they lived up until now; tying them together at the end of the book is problematic because of a character death. Interweaving the narrative of these two distinct storylines works on television, but in prose, it just feels clunky.

I’m going to keep each storyline together via ‘Part I’ and ‘Part II’ separation, then fuse the stories together at the end.

First Stage Edits: Holodomor

My 1st draft edits involve tightening the plot and fixing the dialog. I read my first draft (first time since writing it) and then went through and adjusted my scene cards, cutting any scene that added nothing to the overall story.

scenecards

This part is the worst.

I ended up removing scenes that I adored. I’ve quite a collection of scenes now excised from Suffocation and Holodomor. Some are brilliant character pieces, while others are pure pornographic trash. I think when I release the series on Patreon, I will tighten these scenes up and offer them as freebies to my patrons.

Femitokon: Dialog

—from Suffocation, a little snippet of the “the bad guys”.¬† It’s the first time we meet them in Suffocation, and some of you may recall my posting of the original cover art for the book (the one I’m certain the publisher will reject…). It features Cao-Cy, and spoiler alert, reveals the theoretical nature of the Vai and Cy (though they’re not mer-people in the book, sorry.)

Dr. Vai Zhang stood in her white lab coat and black boots, testing the water temperature in pool fourteen, trying to determine what killed the latest clutch of cloned long-finned char, a salmon once native to the Siberian waters of 20th century Russia.

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