It Looks Like another Lockdown

It seems I have to lock up some notebook entries.  I really don’t like doing that because some people expressed interest in how I work and what I’m working on, but obviously there’s a privacy issue and so I have to lock some things down.  I express myself here, good or bad–if someone feels the need to inform people of what I say and how I say it– or link to it as a means of promoting their own porn or writing blogs–then that stresses me out and so it’s lockdown city.

Sorry all.

The Him

It’s a weird name for a cool story – at least I think it’s one of my cooler ones.   I was desperate to develop something interesting for the ‘Cannibal Love‘ project, and I didn’t want to make a BL story.  At the time I was pretty disgusted with the business of BL overall, and I think this bad feeling seeped into my creative process.  I just didn’t feel like writing anything erotic or m/m.

The Him - art by Lindalva Campos de Sales

The Him, art by Lindalva Campos de Sales

What prompted me to write this story was an online friend of mine–he’d been dumped by his girlfriend and we spent some time on the phone talking about how, if he had the chance to go back or was given another chance– he would hurt her first.  (>.>)  I let this stew in my head for a time; that a boy would entertain such vindictive thoughts because his feelings were trampled on.  Why wouldn’t he?  He’s human right?  Why aren’t men allowed to hurt and act out on that hurt in ways that have nothing do to with brutal male violence and everything to do with catty-girl bullshit.  Emotional pain is pain, when did reacting to it and acting out because of it, get a gender-specific MO?  Men who’re hurt act out physically, while women who’re hurt use words.  What nonsense.  I’ve seen my fare share of slighted men play revenge games without a punch thrown or a voice raised.  Hearing him talk about how he’d get back at her, really made me think…wow– he must really love this girl.  0_0

I created a character that’s immature, spoiled, and sexy – loss of love wouldn’t fuel his desire for revenge…but the rejection would.  He’d be willing to do anything for a taste of revenge, even if it meant getting cozy with someone he finds repugnant.

The Him is about an immature chef who’s pissed off when an ex-girlfriend who dumped him because he wanted to start a family, shows up at his restaurant newly married and pregnant.  He decides to get even by seeking out another ex-girlfriend, one that freaked him out: a noted OB/GYN with a passion for human flesh…


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