Feedback Alert

After acquiring feedback from two readers (though they’re beta readers, they agreed to read the first draft of novel #2) and the verdict is that I need to rewrite the whole damn thing.

 

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Art for Title Scene I

First I want to say thank you for accepting my commission. (Daniel) The shot will be of Fuzo Dox and Sofita Kul. The pose is simple; it will be the stoic sensei (Kul) and smiling cocky upstart (Dox).

Dox is younger but taller, her body language is relaxed; she’s stoked to be posing and smiling for the picture because she’s new to being on duty and hasn’t seen anyone die yet. Dox has her arm raised and her pinkie up (a Femarctic sign of victory), the other hand is on her hip but obscured by Kul.

Kul is older, a bit shorter, she never relaxes; her arms are crossed over her chest and she does not smile. Kul’s not unhappy, she quite amused at posing for this picture, but Kul has killed people before and so jovial and relaxed isn’t her style.

–Tina

(Tina) Here’s the line sketch I made to show you the proportions, placement, pose and expressions of the characters, I didn’t make the uniforms so you can see the body proportions well, and the background will be visible once I start adding color, please tell me your thoughts on this rough sketch.

—Daniel

Dox and Kul

I knew you’d nail the smile I was looking for (Daniel)! The pose is perfect. Overall impressions? No pointy ears. LOL Kul will be a bit shorter, and her ass is BIG because she’s Hizaki. Dox’ tits can be a bit smaller and her bicep thicker–other than that, you nailed the overall feel of it, great job.

—-Tina

I’m Working On It

This is so clunky– but I’m working on it.

Once a respected scholar, Sofita Kul has spent years hiding behind a uniform she wasn’t engineered to wear. In her flesh is the Femitokon Shell, the energy-based armor inherited from her dead twin, the true heir to rule Ramaxia. Hosting the Shell has allowed Sofita to avoid her destiny, but when the Shell pushes her toward her twins ambition, Sofita is drawn into a deadly game of succession.

Nope

I’ve been avoiding the inevitable.

Splitting Tactical Pursuits (aka Holodomor) into two parts isn’t working.

On Monday I’m going to remove all the elements of the secondary plot and focus solely on Sofita’s mission and Velto Wram’s entry into the series.

The excised portions, Eppis Banto’s story, will be edited for release to Patreon subscribers. I think this may be the norm going forward for all the backstory/related-narrative of those in Sofita’s circle. It will allow me to remain focused on Sofita’s story arc, without sacrificing the stories of the ensemble cast (Eppis, Pitana, Velto, Laxum, and Fyla) sharing in Sofita’s goal.