First Draft Redux

The clean up on Memory Kill’s plot turned extensive.  I finished writing the first draft at the start of 2014, but true revisions won’t start until the edits on Suffocation and Holodomor are complete.

Unlike Holodomor, which needed a few chapters shuffled around for flow, and some dialog cleaned up for continuity, Memory Kill requires much more. After carding-out each chapter, I realized the hardest struggle in Fusada Kul’s life wasn’t conquering the Femitokon Shell—it was dealing with the distance that had developed between her and her twin, Sofita Kul.

Fusada Kul in Bible

It’s great drama sure, but their weakened relationship can’t be the focus of the novel. It can be a subplot, but it can’t be Fusada’s primary purpose. Readers won’t understand the sacrifice Fusada makes in Memory Kill, until the last novel in the series (Ascension), when Sofita comes to understand what Fusada really did in their hibernation-room, and why. Fusada’s obsession must revolve around making the Shell work for her, no matter who or what it costs. The reader should believe (righteously with what facts they have on hand until the final-novel) that Fusada’s nature turned bad after Sofita alienated herself.

The current draft of Memory Kill showcases a past-tense protagonist, that’s too sympathetic. I need readers to wonder if Fusada became the enemy. I’ll write new scenes, change dialog to reflect new motivations, and stay true to the science of Fusada’s near-success in overcoming the Shell—but I cannot let slip Fusada’s true intentions, even if I know them already…

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