POOR TALOUSE

This was a little nasty story that I wrote, and then showed to my friend Tintin Pantoja. She wanted something freaky to draw and so I knocked a script out for her based on my little story. She thumbed the pages and tweaked the script and I was impressed with it.  She turned the last 10 pages into a 4 page close-up.  She’s great!

It’s an historic BL based in the Napoleonic era…has necrophilia and well…weirdness. ^_^

POOR TALOUSE

Notes – in order to make your research work for you – I’ve set this story during the Napoleonic Wars were over by the mid 1800’s; the clothing and backdrops you researched for ‘Pride’ really fit the era.

PAGE ONE

1. A creepy cemetery path in France [remember-they don’t bury the same way Anglos do!]

2. The mortuary house, a simple stone structure-not very inviting – you can build on this picture – perhaps borrow something from the photo for panel 1.

3. Inside is a small dank workshop room, with a slab, coffins up against the wall and some flat tables. Edmond and his young brother-in-law Talouse are at opposite ends of the room.  Talouse is applying makeup to a woman’s body – Edmond is cleaning up his embalming tools.

PAGE TWO

Edmond walks to the body Talouse has finished with,

EDMOND: She’s right lovely Talouse.  Don’t you think?

He pulls the sheet from her body and exposes her.  Talouse says nothing.

EDMOND: Yeah, we don’t get to many pretty ones in here these days.

PAGE THREE

[I’ve decided to omit the throat scar/cutting from the story-it would take back story narrative that we can’t fit in here].

Edmond gropes the woman, but watches Talouse bend over to pick the sheet up.

EDMOND: Those butchers in Rome made a lovely lady out of you Talouse.

Talouse stands up strait, glares.

EDMOND: Pity you stopped singing after they cut your manhood out.

Talouse walks back, sheet in hands, but won’t look at Edmond.

EDMOND: You could’ve been one of those well paid castrati, and we could’ve sold this dump!

PAGE FOUR

Talouse covers the woman again, tucks the sheet with care at her chest.  He’s smiling at her.

Edmond looks angry as he says,

EDMOND: It’s the only reason I married your sister.  I thought for sure you’d make them some cash and I’d be set.  You ain’t good for much now, are you Talouse?

Talouse begins working on her hair and Edmond points to him,

EDMOND: Remember, they want the flowers braided into her hair, just like you did for her cousin.

Talouse smiles at her as he braids her hair.

PAGE FIVE

Edmond rolls up his gear into a cloth and snaps at Talouse,

EDMOND: Go fetch my lunch from the house.

Talouse doesn’t respond, he’s too busy working and smiling down at the body.

The woman looks lovely, her hair is braided with roses.  Talouse looks down at her,

A shadow is cast over the woman-it’s Edmond, he’s come up behind Talouse.

PAGE SIX

Edmond grabs Talouse from behind, by the hair

EDMOND: Are you deaf and dumb now?

He throws Talouse across the room.

On the floor, Talouse’s shirt is open; his hips are showing as glares back up at Edmond, covers himself.

Edmond stares down lustily; he’d focused on the exposed skin.

EDMOND: You are certainly the prettiest thing in this family, that you are Talouse.

Talouse shakes his head, tries to run.

PAGE SEVEN

Edmond grabs hold of him, Talouse struggles until he’s on his back, with Edmond over him, and a bottle of Embalming fluid open and over his face.

EDMOND: You stop this fighting boy!

Talouse stops, staring in fear at the bottle.

EDMOND: I’m going to have you right now, there’s no stopping it.  You keep fighting me and I’m splash some Bleachol in your eyes.  What’s it going to be?  You going to get fucked, or are you going to get fucked and blinded?

Talouse looks up at him, then he turns his head away.

Edmond smiles down.

PAGE EIGHT

The bell is ringing.

Edmond is angry,

EDMOND: Bloody hell!

He gets up and adjusts his clothes, Talouse does the same.

EDMOND: I’ll be back. You, get her moved to the dressing table.

Talouse nods.

PAGE NINE

The table is clear and Talouse moves to the window and looks outside.

Outside is Edmund, and some men in uniform, they carry a body in a large wrap.

He’s speaking to the Captain, they shake hands.

PAGE TEN

Talouse moves away from the window and into his little room.  He sits on the small bed made from a coffin, which has no side panel.

Voices come from the other room,

CAPTAIN: He’s to be buried by morning.

EDMUND: I’ll get started on him right away, but-

PAGE ELEVEN

Talouse emerges, the Captain smiles at him,

CAPTAIN:  Is this the boy?

EDMUND: Yes Capitaine,

The Captain is kind to him,

CAPTAIN: Talouse isn’t it?  I was a friend of your fathers.

Talouse smiles at him.

The Captain then turns to Edmund, no smiles.

CAPTAIN: We had an agreement with the elder Bazaine, I expect you to adhere to it.

EDMUND: Of course Capitaine.  This business is now mine but I’ll respect all my dearly departed father-in-law’s most loyal customers.

PAGE TWELVE

Talouse looks at the handsome dead man on the slab.

EDMUND: I can’t have him ready my tomorrow.

CAPTAIN: Why is that?

Talouse walks around them, stares at the man’s face.

EDMUND: These things take time.  I’ll need at least two days.

The Captain considers it, and agrees.

CAPTAIN: You have two days. I’m assigning a guard here, since our Lieutenant still has enemies lurking about.

Talouse looks over the Guard, whose hand is touching the Lieutenant’s.

PAGE THIRTEEN

The Captain speaks to the soldier and he snaps to attention,

CAPTAIN: Caporal LeFayre

LEFAYRE: Yes Capitaine!

The Captain says to him,

CAPTAIN: You’ll stand guard here until the Lieutenant is in the ground.

LEFAYRE: Yes Capitaine!

Edmund rubs his chin and stares at the young man,

EDMUND: La Fayre, are you the son of the Chevalier?

The Captain speaks up,

CAPTAIN: One’s Nobility means nothing in the ranks of Napoleons army.  Isn’t that right Caporal LeFayre?

PAGE FOURTEEN

The young man stands at attention,

LAFAYRE: Yes, Capitaine!

The young man watches as Talouse looks over the dead Lieutenant.  Talouse looks up and sees he’s being watched, and backs away.

PAGE FIFTEEN

Outside, the moon shines over the cemetery.

Talouse is in his room, when he heard Edmond shout,

EDMOND: Talouse, get out here!

In the room, the Lieutenant lays with a sheet covering his waist.

Edmond rubs his face,

EDMOND: I’ve drained him and filled him, you fix him up nice and dress him.  His uniforms over there.

Talouse looks at the uniform and Edmond is leaving,

EDMOND: I’ve got to get some sleep before we bury him in the morning.

PAGE SIXTEEN

Talouse walks to the Lieutenant’s body and grabs its wrist.  He closes his eyes and just stands there.

Outside, the soldier turns and looks, his attention caught.

LaFayre is right up against the window now.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

Talouse looks down at the Lieutenant; he looks sultry [as if dreaming].

He touches the Lieutenant’s cheek, and runs his fingers down the Lieutenant’s biceps.

LaFayre places his stretched out hand on the glass, his gun is at his side.

Talouse takes off his shirt

PAGE EIGHTEEN

Talouse straddles the Lieutenant, [see the pose-not the boobies!]

His hands touch the Lieutenant’s face.

He takes the Lieutenant’s hands in his and guides them over his chest.

Various elements from pages 29-onward.

PAGE NINETEEN

From LaFayre’s POV, through a clear spot in the window

He sees Talouse’s body naked on the Lieutenant’s.

LaFayre has his forehead on his hand against the glass, he’s obviously jerking off.

TEXT:  Beautiful…

Close up of Talouse, eyes closed, his cheek against the Lieutenant’s chest.

TEXT: More beautiful is he was dead…

PAGE TWENTY

LaFayre burst through door, stands in doorway, leering.

Talouse looks up wide-eyed,

Talouse backs off the body, grabs the bodies sheet to cover his body-

LaFayre places wood plank lock in place over the door.

PAGE TWENTY

Talouse is like a cornered animal, but LaFayre has his hands up-

LAFAYRE: I won’t hurt you.  I understand you.  I know your desires…

LaFayre gets closer, Talouse moves closer to his room.

LAFAYRE: I know what it’s like, to want them-

Talouse runs into his room, slams the door.  LaFayre is pressed against the door.

Various Elements from page 31-onward

PAGE TWENTY-ONE

[I figure at this point we can shift LaFarye’s desire to somnophilia instead of necrophilia, its still all the same.]

LaFayre has open hands on the door, his cheek against the wood.

LAFAYRE: I was going to kill you, the way I did him-

The body of the Lieutenant lays naked on the slab,

LAFAYRE: I wanted him, but I needed him-

LaFayre steps back from the door, his hands still against it,

LAFAYRE: I thought I needed only his lifeless body, but it was more than that.

Talouse cowers on his bed, afraid.

LAFAYRE: I was going to kill you, but now I know what I want-

PAGE TWENTY-TWO

Talouse sees his window [he’s going to escape!!]

LaFayre backs away from the door; he looks evil as he raises his leg up

LAFARYE: I know what I need…

LaFayre KICKS in the door, as he stands there, he sees Talouse’s feet snaking out the window.

PAGE TWENTY-THREE

LaFayre turns and runs out through the shop, then out the door.

He chases Talouse through the graveyard.

Talouse trips over stones and stays ahead, but LaFarye follows and is catching up-

Talouse trips, and falls onto a stone, he looks back, afraid.

PAGE TWENTY-FOUR

Lafayre stands there, panting with a smile.

Talouse makes a run for it, but LaFayre grabs-he takes the sheet.

Talouse stumbles naked into a crypt entry [make sure you put a burning torch somewhere there.]

But he can’t push open the door-

PAGE TWENTY-FIVE

LaFayre cast a shadow over Talouse, who back against the door, crying-

LAFAYRE: No more running.

LaFayre unbuttons his shirt,

LAFAYRE: I’m not going to kill you pretty one.

LaFayre stands over Talouse, [the mighty seme pose]

LaFayre punches Talouse in the head, hard.

Talouse is unconscious.

PAGE TWENTY-SIX

LaFayre forces open the crypt door, then picks up Talouse.

He sets Talouse down inside and goes back out for the torch.

He sets the torch in its brace

He picks Talouse up again; he’s in the main coffin room

PAGE TWENTY-SEVEN

LaFayre lays Talouse down on one of the coffins, and begins unbuttoning his wrist cuffs.

LAFAYRE: You’re still warm, but you’re under my control.

LaFayre takes off his shirt,

LAFAYRE: Killing the Lieutenant was a mistake.  It didn’t bring me what I wanted-

LaFayre moves on top of Talouse

TEXT:  Just lay here for me my poor Talouse, this is all I need…

PAGE TWENTY-EIGHT

If you want to drawn out sex here – go for it.  If not… NEXT PAGE.

PAGE TWENTY-NINE?

NEXT DAY – The sun shines on the graveyard,

Edmund arrives [he’s dressed up in black-he’s going to a funeral] at the shop and sees LaFayre standing guard.

EDMUND: You’re back again?

LAFAYRE:  When there’s a dead soldier, I’m to come here until you’re finished with him.

EDMUND [under his breath]: There’s been a rash of dead soldiers lately…

Inside the workshop, Talouse works on a man [to relive the rigor – he moves the limbs and head about and massaging the arm muscles].

Edmond holds up bloody uniform,

EDMUND: What rank is this one?

PAGE THIRTY

Edmund notices the fresh bruise on Talouse’s head, and grabs his chin,

EDMUND: How’d you get this one?

Talouse jerks his face free, keeps working on the body-ignoring Edmund.

EDMUND: You’ve had more accidents this month.  Forgetting how to walk and talk?

Edmund grabs his top hat and walks to the door,

EDMUND: I’ll be back after the service-

He turns around and points at Talouse, who’s now paying attention,

EDMUND: Get that little girl out back into her casket, and don’t forget you’re to be at her service tomorrow-

Talouse looks down sadly-

EDMOND: [VOICE ONLY] -to do what you do best…looking tragic.

PAGE THIRTY-ONE

LaFayre watches Edmund walk off, then turns and goes inside.

LAFAYRE: I missed you…

Talouse stands there; naked from the waist down- he pulls his shirt over his head.

LaFayre’s hand forms into a fist,

Nakes Talouse lays back onto the dead man, and opens his arms to LaFayre.

PAGE THIRTY-TWO

LaFayre bolts the door and rips off his own clothes.

We see their shadows against the wall, with the bloody uniform on the table below.  LaFayre’s hand is coming up, as if he’s about to hit Talouse…

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